Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
