And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
