I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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