K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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