can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
