I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize