I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
