My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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