Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.