Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.