Nicole vs. Life
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
