If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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