They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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