you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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