if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
