I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
