I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
