I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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