It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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