Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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