Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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