Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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