i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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