So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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