420 ftw
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
