forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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