She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
false alarm, still single
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize