Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
