Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
