He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
