I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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