i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
