Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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