I am puke
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
