do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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