I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize