Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
