Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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