just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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