I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize