i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize