Non-Jews are for practice
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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