marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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