do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
