imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
