Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
