Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
