im gay
i know
yea but for you.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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