Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
