i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
