Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
