im drinking this country out of the recession.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
