honey bunches of taint.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
