i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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