One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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