i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
