so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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