I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
