More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
