you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
