It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I AM VODKA MAN
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
