Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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