So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
nutella sex= disaster
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
