One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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