i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
