4 words: hood of his car
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
