the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
